Life Lately II

Ever since the new year came I can definitely assure it had gone way productive and I could only hope that this year would work out for me. 

Of course, there would be days where I would just bum around all day, watching my series, scrolling through multiple instagram feeds and becoming crazily frustrated over the heat the first weeks of January and so I found women's shorts with the perfect length and fit at Zalora which are a miracle in disguise! 

AND!!!! My internet friends (As seen above) and I had taken it to real life, which is absolutely surreal because I'm so used to only just seeing them on pictures, the selfies they send me and I just cannot stop poking them as if trying to make it sink in that they aren't holographic. 

We have yet to go on our trip to Cebu and I convinced them to bring their asses to Camiguin! 

I'd have pictures by then, hopefully. 

Here are lil photo set of us 

K.

4am thoughts about 4pm

wrote this a couple minutes ago. and it wasn't even 4am yet but, you get the point. just something to think about. 

goodnight - k 

A Working Progress

We are all a working progress. I am. 

I have lost myself a few times within finding myself. In order to be found, whether yourself or in general, you need to be lost first, right? Atleast, that's what I believe in. 

I am not exactly feeling down, I'm okay. The thing is, I could be better. Numb couldn't quite suffice what I am as a person now. It's not like I meant to be that way, its just the way how I'd gone after some circumstances. 

Whenever someone or something tries to come in my way, it doesn't necessarily come out as a shock to me anymore. Or maybe I have just learned how to accept things the way they are than trying to fix whats supposed to-in my vision, be how I had wanted it to go. 

After all, life's about figuring out how to survive, right?

As of writing this, Don't Be So Hard on Yourself by Jesse Glynne just came on shuffle and it somehow had a connection to my post so maybe I could get something out of it.

The past few years had not been easy for me, I was once a recluse.. Which I am known as for my username on my instagram that I had made, well, a few years ago. But that's a different story. 

So yeah, I was once a recluse, I literally wouldn't talk to anybody until they approached me first. I guess it's safe to say that I have gone out of my shell and started interacting with more human beings. It took time, I still stutter and hesitate, of course. 

I've observed more about me than that. To simplify it, I had gone better than how I used to be-I didn't feel like I had anything to change at the time though, I was just glad to get through each day. 

At some point I eventually grew as who I am now, which I am satisfied of. I thought, I guess anything I went through happened for a reason. It may have not felt like that at the moment but looking back now-it did. 

I don't know where I'm actually going with this but what I want to say is that though time would pass, it's okay to waste some of it. Don't be too hard on yourself just because you think you need to be somebody at this certain date, if somebody is telling you so or whatnot.

I've always told myself from the start that "At the end of the day, all I'd really have is myself." and that's where it all started. I started loving myself more, gotten more forgiving, and just thought about positivity til this day. It took time, the road wasn't certainly smooth, it was rough, but seeing as I am now, I'm glad that I had to learn and experience the hard way. 

Don't get me wrong, I AM still a working progress but what I am now, I love it. I'm excited for what's to come, though. 

This is basically just me showing myself to the world, telling a story and whatnot.

Anyways, it's 1:49am and I have nothing else to say, apparently.

Just don't be too hard on yourself, we have all the time in the world, and it will come. Whatever you are looking for. Happiness, maybe. 

Words as Weapons

                    

Why do we tolerate bullying/shaming?

As you all know, I am homeschooled. The most frequent question I've gotten since then was "Are you bullied?" from parents to associates and people who are just curious in general.

I've always said I wasn't because at the time, I don't know why, but bullying to me only meant physically. Not until recently have I realized it wasn't just that but it can be mentally too. And I was. Bullied mentally. 

I've lately wondered 'Why, why do we tolerate it?'. Why do we? Maybe not indirectly, no, I was not bullied directly but I was unintentionally and those kinds were the ones that usually hit me most as to why it was not directed so a lot of 'Why/s' has been going around my mind since. Haunts me. 

People are clueless because we/I never spoke against what they were saying so they think it is okay. So they do it again and again and so on and so forth. 

We may not be tolerating it /indirectly & unintentionally/ but you know those kinds where somebody fat shames or slut shames another person and what slips off your tongue is 'oh, yeah haha.' when what's in your mind is that you should react against it. I am guilty for this yes but I am improving myself by staying silent instead. That is, when it hit me again, silence would never be the answer nor would it help solution the real question. Silence is worse. I've always wanted to stand against it, for myself and for everybody else, and for them to get the message that this is not okay. 

I've lately encountered a new one. This person who I will rename 'turtle' (para masaya, and lungkot ng blogpost na to eh.), asked me again why I was home schooled. I told her the basics, couldn't catch up and that its better for me like this and all that. But she was pushing her limits to the point she made me say the real truth which is I get anxious, depressed and panics a lot. By this time I can feel my lower lip trembling but I've mastered to not let them see this side of me not until I heard turtle laugh and say 'That's not true. That's non existent.' how rude is that? But I had not, again, acted against it for I have respect for the elderly. (No kidding. I was ready to pop but chanted that in my head instead from keeping myself from blowing.) And just shrugged it off. 

I don't know why whenever I try and swear myself to always, always, from now on, to act against it. But once I'm in the real situation I go back to zero. I have never been good about vocalizing my thoughts out so here I am writing them. 

So I guess this blog is a lot of help, to voice out what I really want to say. That we should act against it. This is me going out of my comfort zone, actually speaking it out, instead of just keeping it in like I always do. 

From this day on, blog (or readers), I swear to you, I will and would try to be brave to act against this because IT IS NOT OKAY. Would be hard, but I'll take it step by step. 

Use your words like they are magic instead and not like they are weapons. 

Would you act against it too? 

Lovelots, K

Life Lately

Life lately includes me either going out or staying in the whole day, either me reading a physical book or a fictional one on my phone, injecting myself with dozes of fast-food day by day or home cooked meals. There are no in between. Welcome to the daily life of Kerry Torres. 

Also, I realized blogging isn't something I want to pursue but is something that makes me happy and enjoy and that's enough for me to not let go and something to stick on doing but until I have something decent to post about from time to time (and if it's something appropriate and if it's something I can share to all of you. I don't have the guts to most the time lol.) I won't be able to post and update as much. 

I most of the time have something to blog about, really, but just when I'm on this process of writing, nothing comes out. How annoying could that get, right? 

I won't really call it a 'writer's block' since I don't consider myself as a writer. (Unless, writing about non sense and blabbing about boys on twitter makes me one? Haha)

It's currently 11:26 pm as of writing this and I am bored and had the sudden urge to read articles online.

I'll leave you to a set of photos I've taken from my recent beach trip to Cebu and whatnot. I hope twenty fifteen's treating you all well beautiful earthlings, love lots  -k xx 

       

Crescent

I've worn this to the Candy Fair 2014. I've been going for four years now and have been collecting magazines since I was like ten. I've lost some, of course. I was ten lol

For a theme that's called EDM, I didn't quite reach it. I'm not one to wear statement tees, bright colors and such. I always stay in my lane which I never quite have yet figured out what is. 

But there's this one thing that I accomplished though; comfort. My feet and limbs hurt like hell but not because of the shoes, only because I jumped and tiptoed my way to see and take pictures of people on the stage (which will be in a different set of blogpost!) lol times like these makes me hate being small. Or not have a guy best friend to carry me on his shoulders when he knows I can't see who's on.(HAHAHAHA ginawang ladder/kargador?)

Also, I've fallen in love with the skort that I bought from awhile back but didn't have any place deserving to where it to. If you know me quite well I hate wasting an outfit to somewhere it doesn't deserve to be worn. I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one?

And the Quartz necklace that I also bought from awhile back at the Anti Monday Bazaar which was held in makati. Also fell in love with it  ever since I first saw it on their online store but was just days away til the bazaar happened so I waited and I could've been happier when I finally got it on my hands. It looks so beautiful and a must-have piece, really. It's an everyday essential. 

The scallop tee however, is a different story. It can be literally worn in anything. Neutral colors are life. 

Scallop Tee, Denim Skort, Shoes - Topshop

Agate Quartz Necklace - Stoneriver/@stoneriver on ig

It's no secret that I'm in love with everything topshop has to offer. Though it's the reason why I'm always broke, still don't regret buying a single thing.

As of writing this, I'm looking at one direction tickets for next year in Sydney. Not only then will I get to watch the boys but I'll once again meet my best friend who has just migrated there and it would really be a nice opportunity to do so. Contemplating and arguing with my head whether to go or not as I have no one to go with the concert and I know that shouldn't stop me if I've been given the opportunity to. I have my best friend but she's not a fan. I have a friend, who's a fan, that's also from AUS but she's from brisbane. Do you see my struggle?? Grr. And, convincing and sales talking my mom takes a hell lot of time. Oh dear. Puppy dog eyes- game on. 

It's half past midnight so I'll leave you with the beautiful moon matching the colored hues of the sky that I caught while waiting for my brother to pick us up after the event that I took pictures of. 

[Sorry for the annoying watermarks. Don't want them to be taken without any credits, yeah?]

Good night/morning/afternoon/evening, you beautiful creature you. 

- K 

Silhouettes

There's something about silhouettes that I'm very fond of and I never really realized why until now. 

Thursday 9/25/14.

You know how they're made of because being against the light? Sort of like how life is. If you look a tad bit deeper. Don't you think? People behind you think you're nothing and just a shadow because they can see something more brighter in front of you. So they disregard you. 

But no, the darker side of each picture (aka persons) actually makes it even more prettier. Or makes the picture (sort of) balanced. Could you imagine the pictures without those shadows? Yes? It's so bright that it could be almost blinding that you don't want to look at it anymore? 

Practically like how some people are who are over towering some other part of the other person just because the sunset/sunrise hasn't gone to it's side yet. 

Am I even making any sense? I'm not sure.

*brain* OH MAYBE BECAUSE ITS JUST A FREAKING SILHOUETTE AND NOTHING ELSE MORE. AND THAT YOU'RE CRAZY AND YOU OVER THINK AND ANALYZE EVERYTHING.

We all have our time to shine. To have the spotlight on us. But sooner or later you'll have to share it with somebody else. Don't want our audiences to get tired of our faces, do we? 

[I'm talking about how the sunset/sunrise would reach the other side of the place, too at some point.]

If we all had a tad bit more longer patience, it would. All it takes is a little faith, tr(yo)u(rself)st and pixie dust.

And if you look in a different perspective of these photos, it may look like you're just starting of as nothing but as you work your way forward it'll be brighter. You'll be brighter. 

I'm not really one to be good at explaining and putting my thoughts into words. I'm not good at it. It's a bit messy up there. Messy. So I'm cutting this short as I have nothing else to say about what I just wrote. But, I hope you get the point of what I'm trying to say. 

-K

PS. I am totally not sorry for quoting tinker bell. Love her. And disney movies. If you don't, you're lying. 

Here are some embarrassing photos of me for you to enjoy. Bye. 

[You want war? I'll give you war]