A Working Progress

We are all a working progress. I am. 

I have lost myself a few times within finding myself. In order to be found, whether yourself or in general, you need to be lost first, right? Atleast, that's what I believe in. 

I am not exactly feeling down, I'm okay. The thing is, I could be better. Numb couldn't quite suffice what I am as a person now. It's not like I meant to be that way, its just the way how I'd gone after some circumstances. 

Whenever someone or something tries to come in my way, it doesn't necessarily come out as a shock to me anymore. Or maybe I have just learned how to accept things the way they are than trying to fix whats supposed to-in my vision, be how I had wanted it to go. 

After all, life's about figuring out how to survive, right?

As of writing this, Don't Be So Hard on Yourself by Jesse Glynne just came on shuffle and it somehow had a connection to my post so maybe I could get something out of it.

The past few years had not been easy for me, I was once a recluse.. Which I am known as for my username on my instagram that I had made, well, a few years ago. But that's a different story. 

So yeah, I was once a recluse, I literally wouldn't talk to anybody until they approached me first. I guess it's safe to say that I have gone out of my shell and started interacting with more human beings. It took time, I still stutter and hesitate, of course. 

I've observed more about me than that. To simplify it, I had gone better than how I used to be-I didn't feel like I had anything to change at the time though, I was just glad to get through each day. 

At some point I eventually grew as who I am now, which I am satisfied of. I thought, I guess anything I went through happened for a reason. It may have not felt like that at the moment but looking back now-it did. 

I don't know where I'm actually going with this but what I want to say is that though time would pass, it's okay to waste some of it. Don't be too hard on yourself just because you think you need to be somebody at this certain date, if somebody is telling you so or whatnot.

I've always told myself from the start that "At the end of the day, all I'd really have is myself." and that's where it all started. I started loving myself more, gotten more forgiving, and just thought about positivity til this day. It took time, the road wasn't certainly smooth, it was rough, but seeing as I am now, I'm glad that I had to learn and experience the hard way. 

Don't get me wrong, I AM still a working progress but what I am now, I love it. I'm excited for what's to come, though. 

This is basically just me showing myself to the world, telling a story and whatnot.

Anyways, it's 1:49am and I have nothing else to say, apparently.

Just don't be too hard on yourself, we have all the time in the world, and it will come. Whatever you are looking for. Happiness, maybe.